Look Out World--I Just Quit Smoking! Again...

Obviously, the "What to Expect" part will vary on the person who is attempting to quit. Like many of you out there, I have tried to quite several times in the past. The longest I had been able to go without a cigarette was nearly six years ago, when I found out that I was pregnant with my daughter. Shortly after she was born, somewhere between sleep deprivation and a mental breakdown, I broke down and smoked a cigarette. Since then I have attempted to quit at least 2 more times. I made it four months about a year ago only to succumb to the temptation yet again.

It is important to note that my husband and I are both quitting at the same time. I would like to blame him for the reason that I went back to smoking a year ago just as I am sure he would like to blame me for going back to smoking when he first met me, but it is no ones fault except our own. Anyway, I am hoping with the two of us doing it together we will be able to conquer this addiction.

Just so you also have a little bit of background on how this all started, I would like to share with you the day that our daughter wrote us a note.

I had just finished work and was picking up our daughter from her grandparents house. As I was gathering up all her belongings I noticed a small piece of paper next to her school bag near the end of the kitchen table. I knew the note was for me, because this is also where mail goes that is mine to pick up. The note read as follows : Every cigarette you smoke makes your heart hurt. Now mind you the note was written in her grandmothers handwriting, so my initial reaction was "great...mom is lecturing me again." (Funny how somethings don't change, even as we grow up)

Carrying the note with me, I asked my mother what the note was about, and she proceeded to tell me that my daughter made her write down for me. See, they were sitting and watching Dr. Oz that afternoon and he apparently had been discussing the repercussions of smoking and the damage that it can do to your body. The one thing that stuck in my daughter's mind was our hearts being hurt. I hugged my daughter and told her that I would bring the note home to daddy and we would see what we could do to ease her troubled mind.

While sitting at the dinner table, I took out the note that our daughter had made her grandmother write and showed it to my husband. His face probably mirrored mine as he read the note. Smokers don't like to be told that what they are doing to their bodies is harmful. We know it is. Most of us struggle with the habit everyday. Some days we welcome the inhalation of chemicals, while others we wish we could just stop. Placing the note on the table, my husband looked at me for an explanation. I told him how our daughter was worried about us hurting our hearts every time that we smoked a cigarette, at which time our daughter piped in and said that she wished we would try to quit smoking so that we would "live a long time".

Staring into her precious little face, we told her that we would try to quit when we ran out of tobacco, but we would appreciate her not bugging us the whole time until then. She agreed happily. Surprisingly, she kept her word. She never bothered us once, when we took our smoke breaks outside. She did however keep watch on our supply of tobacco, so that she knew when it was time. Now, don't get me wrong, we are not trying to do this just for her, though she is a huge part, we had been talking the talk for a while. Hopefully, she is the push that we needed to get this started.

That is what brings us to today. The first full day without a cigarette. I am struggling every second to not jump out of my skin. My heart feels like it is heavy and close to coming out of my throat. I am having considerable trouble not biting all my fingernails off. So far I have gotten up and wandered around the apartment with no purpose 5 times. Not sure how my husband is doing at work, though I am sure he is probably going through the same thing.

I know I am going to have to find something to occupy my time. I will probably have to do some cleaning. That is what I normally do when I quit. My house is usually never cleaner then when I quit smoking to be honest. Its only 9:30 am and I am wondering how I am going to get through work tonight. Everything is just so routine. Its hard breaking that routine.

I bet some of you are asking yourselves if I am doing this cold turkey. The answer to that is "yes". I have a few old nicotine patches left in the bottom of my kitchen junk drawer, but I don't know if I should use those or not. I was thinking that I might buy the electronic cigarette, but my husband said that there is some thing coming out about that not being good for your health either. I will have to do some research on that to find out if it is fact or fiction. It gives me something to do.

Thank you all for reading my rant for Day 1 of not smoking. I will fill you in on the rest of this day tomorrow. In the mean time, please leave me comments, words of encouragement, ideas to get my mind off smoking and anything to relieve my anxiety that may have worked for you.